An Anecdote: Today I was running on a path that follows a creek and runs next to a cow pasture. Coming the other direction I saw a man wearing bib overalls, a plaid shirt, a bandana tied around his neck. He was carrying 3-lb weights and smiling from ear-to-ear and singing. Some people just enjoy life.
Question: What do you do when you have too many things to do and not enough time and you feel too overwhelmed to do any of them?
Praise: God provided a good job for me here in Boulder. Now I need to trust that he will provide for us when we move.
Isn't that a complete overhaul from that which we were doing just before it became complicated and busy? It's really interesting to me because I feel happier than I have been in a long time, and also on the verge of feeling full. It might be that I know my place better now, that I'm doing what I have to be comfortable here, accepting that by working dead-enders like I am, that it doesn't mean I am dead-ending, or that it's all I'm worth. I think if I just follow my heart in relationships, everything works out, but when I think about money, jobs, etc. I'm stressed/unhappy/questionative of everything. But when I think about going to Vegas with girlfriends, or building a relationship, or someone loving me completely, or running for the right reasons, or coffee at a shop reading a book, I feel happy about where I am. Can I just tell you that I'm overworking myself, and maybe you are too. I try to tell other people, but they don't really hear me. I'm working 3 jobs and thinking of fitting in more. I never see a break in the universe where I'm getting something back from all that I'm giving out. But that's my problem. Can I also just tell you that I daydreamed today that I moved back home and got pregnant and was surrounded in family, and me and my whole family raised this person like a village. It made me feel good. That I wanted that. Or that I consider that an option.
ReplyDeleteThe long short of it is there is absolutely never enough time, and I believe we should stop thinking about time, and what other people might need within certain spaces of time (more or less), because I know you and I are always thinking of other people, and for once, we should think about what is best for us. Now I have to figure out how to do that.
I came to your blog to tell you that we need to post something every single day, starting now. That's your challenge. I'm bringing more to your plate girlfriend. I think your life is going beautifully. And you can do all of your things.
Thanks Courtney. I'll try to blog more. Not sure what to blog about though. Not sure I just want a public diary, yknow?
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